I have spent a lot of this last week in knots. Hoping for something new and yet convincing myself that it’s not time yet; that this opportunity is not what God’s been telling me to wait on. I want it. I don’t want it. I do, but it’s not going to happen. I’ll be honest and tell you I’m trying to find that balance of honesty and submission, hope and reason. Trust.
I may not know much,… but this I do know:
"He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things" (Romans 8:32).
Don't go too quickly by that. Go back. Read it again. And again.
He is a gracious Giver, our Father, and works not only for His glory, but also for our good. (see the many passages that focus on this; the following being only a few: Matt. 7:7-11, Rom. 8:28, Jam. 1:17, 2 Pet. 1:3-4--not to mention the passion accounts). This is true regardless of whether or not the above opportunity come to fruition. It's true whether or not the next opportunity comes to be. He is what I must focus on if I am going to live free, without the chains of anxiety.